8 Insane Conspiracy Theories That Might Give You A New Perspective

8 Insane Conspiracy Theories That Might Give You A New Perspective
cc: Flickr

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having an inquiring mind full of healthy skepticism. Politicians and journalists lie to us all the time after all and it’s useful to be able to pick out the truth from the porkies. Unfortunately, combining that with too much internet, a liberal dollop of boredom and maybe forget to take your meds once or twice and you’re suddenly living in a world where the government is either trying to spy on you or kill you.

8. The Government Is Poisoning You With Planes.

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Flickr: @57800227@N06

One of the government’s favorite ways to get us is by streaking the sky full of very very visible toxin trails that you can see coming out the back of planes. The fluffy white trails in the sky known as “Chemtrails” are believed to be whether controlling materials that are being sprayed into the atmosphere. Others believe that they’re full of nanofibers and they’re designed for us to breathed in by us humans and they are going to cause health problems that are going to make us want to buy more pharmaceuticals.

7. Fluoride In Drinking Water Is Mind Control.

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Flickr: @miodowski

Keeping with the same theme that the government is trying to poison you, what’s up with fluoride? Well, surely it’s to make our teeth nice of white. Well, no because the government is apparently putting fluoride into our drinking water to poison you and turn us into mindless zombies. Conspiracy theorists have put into a couple of ideas upon this. One camp of claims is fluoride and the other additives in water make us ill meaning that we need to spend more money on pharmaceuticals and another group is meanwhile claiming that it’s being added as a mind-controlling weapon.

6. Beyoncé Is In The Illuminati.

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heightline.com

The illuminati is a true blessing for the terminally paranoid. The idea is that some people in their secret organization of super wealthy super privileged elite are calling all the shots. It’s a weird conclusion to come to considering that we already have a super wealthy super privileged elite calling the shots. They just don’t want to keep it a secret; it’s called the government.

One of the very best things about the Illuminati conspiracy is the sheer range of characters that are supposed to belong to it. Beyoncé is a favorite at the moment as she keeps making a triangle symbol with her hands and she named her child “Blue Ivy” which of course stands for:

Born
Living
Under
Evil
Illuminati’s
Very
Youngest

That was quite obvious. What else that can mean, right? (Also Blue Ivy spelled backward, Eulb Yvi, is name of the Lucifer’s daughter in Latin.)

5. Wealthy, Shape-Shifting Lizard People Rule Us All.

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Flickr: @nhforhealthcare

David Icke has made a reasonable name for himself coming up with crazy conspiracy theories. His theory explains how most famous people are actually shape-shifting lizard people and how they control over the human race. Amongst those accused of being lizard people are Bill and Hillary Clinton, the Queen of England and weirdly Bob Hope. David Icke also claims that these lizard people are all pedophiles as well. Some have claimed that Icke’s engagements on lizard people are actually anti-Semitic and when he says shape-shifting lizard people he actually means Jews. Icke has claimed that this is completely untrue when he says shape-shifting lizard people literally means shape-shifting lizard people.

4. The Middle Ages Never Happened.

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Flickr: @ornedra

What if I told you it wasn’t in fact 2016 but it is actually the year 1790? According to the theory called “Phantom Time Hypothesis”, the period between 614 AD and 911 AD simply didn’t happen – the history buffs amongst you will have noticed that it pretty much covers the whole of the dark ages in Britain at least. Some people suggest that the Holy Roman Emperor Otto III fudge the date so that he could have a throne for all eternity but I guess he didn’t take into account his own death, way to go Otto…

3. The Queen Is Actually A Cannibal.

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Flickr: @gem_106

When you think of it and look at the picture with this perspective, she looks like she can’t decide what to eat first; the younger one or the older one? Who would have thought that evil smile has been hiding something… evil?

Hubert Humdinger thinks he may have an explanation of Queen Elizabeth II bubbly personality and long-range: She eats people of course! Allegedly a workman was investigating a wiring problem of Windsor Castle when he discovered strips of human flesh just lying about the place because the Royals are also apparently to seem to have a lacks attitude of food safety. This is also the supposed explanation behind the disappearance of 50,000 children that went to a picnic with Queen Liz and Prince Philip. Presumably discovering too late that they were in fact the “picnic”.

2. Who Built The Pyramids?

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Flickr: @106415925@N04

The buildings of these great monuments have been attributed from everyone from the Illuminati to aliens and a lot of people can’t seem to get the head around how on earth something like this could come about. It is a bizarre idea that lends itself to different mysteries like how people from the olden days could have built such an enormous structure. Here’s a hint: Slave labor of enormous disposable workforce. Well then, why do they appear the same all over the world? Here’s a hint: A pyramid is a good way of piling up stones and will last a very long time. Lots of cultures have discovered this.

1. Large Hadron Collider Is A Star Gate To Awaken An Egyptian God.

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Getty Images

If you are going to build a very big scientific machine that’s designed to do something very complicated the most people probably won’t understand it then you are pretty much asking for the internet to accuse you of something utterly mental. Apparently, scientists and CERN have actually been attempted to awaken the Egyptian God of the Dead. Sadly, physics experiments can’t actually awaken God’s; Egyptian, Hindu or otherwise and it’s very difficult to figure out why they want to anyway.

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